goodbye, my little book thief

I didn’t know today is the day to say goodbye,
I didn’t realize how long  she had accompanied me,
until this noon,
until I finished the last 50 pages. 
我记得我说那是第一口冰淇淋的幸福,这就是为什么,当我在Ann Arbor, 在充满了陌生的作者和题目的Shamam Drum Book store 里流连的时候,我还是选择了熟悉的封面.
In the past two weeks, I have tried hard, for my dream.
I cannot tell you how hard it is,  what I could tell is that  I never stop believing there is a hope, I never stop trying to find a way and I refuse to give up.
Meeting people who cannot give me a conclusion,
Attending classes that I haven’t enrolled in,
Negotiating with every person that might be related,
asking for help,
And being turned down again and again.
Everyday, wait and hope, everyday.
Even myself, I don’t know,  why , why, this time , it’s that hard for me to give in, I am sorry, I cannot.
If you would imagine, everytime I got the message without a result, everytime I rushed to different offices and got tired, every time I told myself to cheer up,
I always have a little thing, in my bag.
Then, I will find a quite place, take some time, with a hot steamer, and join the life of Liesel, which, just like mine, hard, but with tiny little warm things that will have me a reason to love everything.
But she left, today, at Pierpond, in a sofa near a piano,
with the tune of Cavatina and the smell of a coconut flavored steamer.
And also, with tons of unexpected tears.
I am wordless, again, to explain why.
How can I resist the sadness,
when Max was taking away by Nazi,
when Liesel couldn’t let him go,
when Liesel asked him again and again,
"Is it you, is it you Max, is it  from your cheek that I took the seed of words?"
With a bomb from sky,
Suddenly, everybody was gone. And the narrator—-the Death, he came, take them away with his tender hand.
All, everything, every beloved one,
mama, papa, Max, best friend Rudy, Frau Holtzapfel…everything.
Only left my little "book thief", Liesel, alive.
They vanished as easy as a magic, but how can they!
The shiever eyes of papa, the bad taste soup made by mama, Max the jew, with talent in fist and loved reading, writing and painting for Liesel. 
And Rudy,
the boy who jumped into freezing water for a book, for Liesel,
the boy who got 3 gold metals in race,
the boy who is always on Liesel’s side, no matter  stealing apples or books, no matter being punished or humiliated, no matter happy or sad,
the boy, who simply wanted a little kiss from Liesel,
and the boy, Liesel knew she loved so much.
She kissed him at last, on his soft, liveless lips.
She could not say a goodbye.
Me, either.
Then the music came,
A student sat before the piano,
Played the first few notes.
How dare,
How dare it be Cavatina?
How can I be calm if it is Cavatina,
If the sad tune grew slowly into your heart, with the background of a true friend, who is far from here.
It’s impossible to resist all of this,
If they come together, you have got to let it rush through,
Let it be without control, let it submerge you.
我想你一定知道的,在离开了Liesel 之后,我想起了遥远的你.

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